Hillary’s First Act as President would be to Raise White House Thermostat to 75 Degrees

Potential headline for ‪#‎TheOnion‬ – Hillary’s First Act as President would be to Raise White House Thermostat to 75 Degrees.

“Bill used to keep the thermostat at 68. I was meeting foreign dignitaries wearing socks on my hands,” says the Democratic candidate for president. “If I win the election, God willing, I will set that thermostat at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue so damned high Bill will sweat his cheating oysters off.”

She elaborated, “It will be like an oven in a blast furnace in an inferno in hell.”

The former Secretary of State says that raising the first home’s thermostat would be a victory not just for her, but for all women who have fought their husbands over the temperature. “Men need to understand that you’re just naturally colder when you’re woman a like me. And also if you’re very, very old like me.”