There’s a jolly old elf named Saint Nick. Have you heard of him?

Merry Christmas to everyone. Thanks for reading me. Today’s my last day at work and then I’m off for a week. Really looking forward to spending time with the kids this year.

There’s a vampire series called “Twilight.” Have you heard of it?

I had heard about Twilight. It was a TV show that came from a book that was made into a movie. I knew about it because The Simpsons made fun of it and because everyone talked about sparkly vampires.

At some point I decided that I ought to watch it. Not because I thought I would like it, but because it was enough of a thing in pop culture that I should know something about it firsthand. So one of the movies came on TV and I tried watching it.

What a bunch of nothing. Nothing happened in that stupid movie. The camera lingers on long, loving scenes of dark woodlands. Twilight’s fan base must be forestry majors. I only lasted about 30 minutes before I gave up.

There’s a movie coming out called Titanic 3D. Have you heard of it?

According to the TV commercials Titanic 3D is by the same guy who did Avatar, so I bet it’ll be really popular.

If you see it, don’t tell me how it ends. I want to be surprised.

There’s a TV show called Jersey Shore. Have you heard of it?

Sunday between Simpsons episodes I watched 30 minutes of Jersey Shore, with Snooki and The Situation. It’s a reality TV show about a bunch of twenty-somethings in Jersey.

Somehow I thought it would be more contrived. Like there would be gladiatorial combat or spelling bees. All they do is follow them around with cameras and film their mating rituals – “Guidos in the Mist of Axe Body Spray.”

They also document the fact that they live in a pig sty. And that they think you can use regular furniture for patio furniture because the whole patio furniture thing is just a scam to get you to buy two sets of furniture.

On the plus side side, there are some slutty women and they wear slutty clothes, so there’s that. Not that Jersey Shore exactly has a monopoly on that sort of thing on TV. And then there’s the Internet, where whoa Nelly.

The episode ended with the gang going to a club, getting drunk, and ending up in a fist fight with a guy who got fresh with Jennifer. My wife tells me that’s how a lot of episodes end, because whoa Nelly.

There’s a singer named Adele. Have you heard of her?

My wife loves Adele. She thinks her CD is possibly the best 11 dollars she’s spent in her life. I must say, the gal can sing.

We watched the 60 Minutes interview last night before the Grammies. I like her. Seems very genuine – genuine voice with no computer touchups, genuine look with no surgery, genuine personality with no pretense. So congrats on her Grammy wins.

And this SNL skit is hilarious. Warning – autoplay. Single russian women